Friday 23 September 2011

funniest quotes ever

 
 
Famous quotes funniest quotes life quotes




I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I'm not absolutely sure of anything, and many things I don't know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here, and what the question might mean.  I might think about it a little bit, but if I can't figure it out, then I go on to something else.  But I don't have to know an answer....  I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly.  It doesn't frighten me.  ~Richard Phillips Feynman


We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Perhaps we are looking at this from a wrong perspective; this search for the truth, the meaning of life, the reason of God.  We all have this mindset that the answers are so complex and so vast that it is almost impossible to comprehend.  I think, on the contrary, that the answers are so simple; so simple that it is staring us straight in the face, screaming its lungs out, and yet we fail to notice it.  We're looking through a telescope, searching the stars for the answer, when the answer is actually a speck of dirt on the telescope lens.  ~Jason Q.,

 

Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.  ~Albert Einstein, in The Saturday Evening Post, 26 October 1929




Why does a person even get up in the morning?  You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die.  Life is so stupid I can't stand it.  ~Barbara Kingsolver,



Jack Palance:  "Do you know what the secret of life is?  One thing.  Just one thing.  You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit."
Billy Crystal:  "Yeah, but what's that one thing?"
Jack Palance:  "That's what you've got to figure out."



What is life?  It is the flash of a firefly in the night.  It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime.  It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.  ~Crowfoot, 1890, as quoted in Catch the Whisper of the Wind compiled by Cheewa James




Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.  ~Mel Brooks




  


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